Penance And Redemption
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: SUMMARY: Harm gets a visitor at work that will turn JAG HQ on it's head.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Penance And Redemption

AUTHOR: VIDZ

TIMELINE: Season 6

PAIRING: read and you'll see! :D

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: I was a little cruel to poor Harriett over her HM shipperness. Nothing bad, no bashing, just her dreams are blowing in the wind at the end of it.

The first part is criminally short, but please bear with me. I know where I'm going and it's mostly written. You'll see why I chose to stop there, but please read the chappie through first. *eg*

SUMMARY: Harm gets a visitor at work that will turn JAG HQ on it's head.

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"Can I help you, ma'am?"

"Hi, yes, you can, thanks. I'm looking for Commander Rabb."

Harriett's eyes scanned the newcomer up and down in a routine manner to take stock of the person, see if they were there to make trouble or to simply try to ascertain their intentions in the first place. The woman was her age, pretty but no supermodel or even a pin-up model, actually what held her above average was her attractive smile. She was also a civilian, not the usual fainting daises that look for CDR Rabb, but more of a tomboy, self-assured and confident, dressed comfortably but still smart enough to be appropriate for such a place as JAG HQ. She looked to be there more for a personal visit rather than for business. When Harriett heard just who she was looking for, it was all she could do not to roll her eyes, while her manner stiffened.

_Of course she's looking for the Commander. And I was right... dressed like this she's not here looking for legal service... at least not _ that_ kind of legal service. Though compared to the ones that usually try to throw their nets, she's quite underdressed. Strange..._

Sharp eyes met Harriett's confidently, then smoothly slipped away to scan the bullpen and it's by-lying offices as she talked. Harriett didn't know whether to take stock of the situation or just to find the man she was looking for. For some reason Harriett also didn't detect the usual awe civilians and service members alike exhibit when faced with the operational area of Navy's JAG HQ.

Lives are changed here, some ruined and some given a second chance. Personally Harriett put JAG on the same level of importance as the great Soul Management office up in the sky, where decisions on life of people are made.

"He's in with Admiral Chegwidden, the Navy's JAG, at the moment. Do you have an appointment?"

_Of course she doesn't. But I still have to ask. Sometimes I hate protocol, I'd rather just have her escorted out. He doesn't need any distractions, especially right now, he should rather concentrate on a certain Marine that's so completely in love with him._

The woman's answer only served to further irritate the Ensign, which unfortunately showed on her face and in her body language "Not an official one, no."

_Like I said... Honestly, why do I even bother, protocol or no?_

Harriett observed mutely as the visitor checked her wrist watch and seemed to do a few calculations.

"It's almost lunch hour anyway." she muttered to herself, then looked back up "Would you be so kind to tell him when he comes out that I'm waiting for him at the courtyard picnic table under the tree?"

Keeping her face neutral, Harriett nodded "Of course."

"Thanks. Have a nice day."

The visitor was half-way to the exit when Harriett remembered with a curse that she hadn't asked who she was. She needed to know, for the visitor log and because she _needed_ to know.

"Ma'am? What do I tell the Commander who's waiting for him?"

The woman looked over her shoulder, delivered the bombshell and continued on her way through the double doors, accompanied by the sound of ceramic breaking as it fell from numb fingers.

"His wife."

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**Reviews are love.**


	2. Chapter 2

Holy Guacamole! 16 reviews for one chapter! Wow! After such a warm and enthusiastic welcome of this fic I was definitely struck with a major case of performance anxiety. :) I really hope the rest of the fic will justify your trust and belief. I'm doing my best to keep this fic light-hearted and humorous, with realism being only a second concern, so tell me if it gets bogged down.

Harriett in this fic is a hopeless romantic and that's the part where the small amount of "cruelty" (but not bashing) comes into play, in this chapter. Hope you'll forgive me for that as I genuinely liked the character, but just had to poke a little fun at her. I hope I did it tastefully. Just please remember that **her thoughts don't necessarily reflect the actual situation.** As every person she has her own vision of the world. :)

Psycho is based on a character in a PC helicopter simulator game, as old as the universe, where, besides flying, you also had to manage your squadron (crews roster, their morale and performance, the unit's equipment, etc.). One of the crew members that you could choose was a Psycho that lived up to his name. Just for variety's sake I... adjusted... Psycho before putting him in here. :-P

**I would like to thank all of your who left such nice reviews for making my week. :) **

Here's hoping you like this new chapter.

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Harriett was still standing there a minute later, frozen in time like one of Medusa's victims, face drained of colour, mouth open, eyes enormous and a black puddle of coffee around her, the shards still to where they'd scattered.

She was like that when a concerned Marine approached, putting a hand lightly on the short blonde's shoulder, giving it a slight shake to break her out of her stupor.

"Harriett?"

It took another two repeats of her name before Harriett finally broke out of her stasis, her head snapping to where the voice was coming from, eyes still filled with complete and utter confusion.

"Ma'am?"

"You okay?"

Harriett shrugged helplessly and stuttered "I... I don't know, ma'am."

Which really didn't do much to assuage Mac's worry... Maybe getting to the heart of the matter would help her solve the mistery and put her friend back together.

"Who was that woman?"

"Woman?" Harriett just blinked up at her blankly.

"The woman you were talking to before you dropped your coffee mug." And became a statue, but Mac wasn't about to say that.

"Woman..." Harriett muttered, trying to sort out the mess inside her head, feeling a headache announce itself when it all came flooding back.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, ma'am." she sighed, rubbing her forehead and wishing she had an Aspirin on hand right then.

"Try me." replied Mac.

Harriett looked up, sighing again.

She really didn't want to say this, _everyone_ knew that LtCol Sarah MacKenzie was completely and totally in love with her partner, the oblivious Commander Rabb, but no-one knew that better than Ensign Harriett Sims-Roberts. The fact that Mac was engaged to another man didn't matter, it was just a small sand pebble to the young Lieutenant, it didn't mean anything and would no way prevent the from-God-and-Fate-decided MacKenzie/Rabb union.

Which just made her furious as to how could the stupid man do something as dumb as getting married to someone else. Didn't he know he and Mac were meant to be, that Harriett already had 60 percent of their wedding planned out? That he was supposed to wait until Mac got rid of the annoying Aussie and then sweep her off her feet?

"Well, ma'am..." Harriett took a deep breath, readying herself to bring her friend's life falling down around her ears "She claims to be Commander Rabb's wife."

"What?" Mac gasped, her eyes wide "But Harm's not married! He can't be! He would've told us..._"_

Harriett could feel her heart breaking as she looked up at her role-model and tears were quickly filling her eyes at the thought of the pain she had to be feeling at this betrayal. And, yes, Harriett knew it was a betrayal, a betrayal of the worst kind.

_Oh god, the poor woman. She's so strong, keeping herself together like this while her whole world has just been destroyed. The man she loves has betrayed her and married some harlot... What are we going to do?_

"Maybe it's not what it looks like?" Harriett tried to give a positive outlook.

"Well, whatever it _is_ like, there's our chance to find out."

"What?" blinked Harriett as the taller woman swept passed her, then nodded in comprehension upon seeing the man himself finally exiting the lion's den. Out of the frying pan into the fire. And Harriett for one was very willing to turn up the flames.

Moving quickly Mac blocked Harm's path and, crossing her arms under her chest, she glared up at the villainous scoundrel who acted like such an innocent little angel while secretly going around seducing naive women behind everyone's backs.

_Yes_, nodded Harriett to herself as she watched from the background, _he definitely deserves this description._

"Harm, there was a woman here right now."

"So?" he asked disinterested, still looking through his newest case file "There's plenty of women here all the time."

His careless attitude was grating on Mac. She wanted to know what was going on, since no-one was giving her a straight answer, and Harm was acting like he didn't care for anything other than that damn file!

"Yes, well, this one was looking for you."

"Really?" still that absent tone and Harriett herself was sorely tempted to rip the folder from his hands and whack him over the head with it "Did she have a name? What's got you so upset anyway?"

"Yeah, she certainly told us who she is." Mac drawled cynically.

"Well?" Harm prodded, finally looking up, growing annoyed with this game and the fact that she wasn't leaving him alone so he could sink his teeth into this juicy new case "Or do you want me to guess?"

"Apparently... she's your wife."

"My..." Harm stuttered to a stop "My WHAT?"

Then his eyes narrowed, observing her closely "You don't have a fever, do you?"

Huffing irritatedly Mac growled "No, I don't." _Why is he acting like this? Why doesn't he just drop the act and fess up?_

"I don't have it either." he ascertained thoughtfully "But for some reason I still heard you say there was a woman here claiming to be my wife."

The chain around Mac's chest seemed to loosen.

"You heard correctly."

"Are you sure?" he peered down at her, as if gauging if she was just making this all up.

"Yes. Absolutely, 100 percent, completely and totally sure." Mac nodded firmly, relief starting to flood her at the complete lack of knowledge on Harm's face. Surely, if he was married he wouldn't be reacting this cluelessly, right? Can anyone actually forget they're married?

Then that confidence slipped when she saw the look of realization flow over his handsome features, coupled with the fact he hadn't expressly denied a part in such a blessed union.

"Where is she?" he then demanded with an urgency that had Harriett's and Mac's eyes meet, unaware that both were feeling the same kind of dread.

"She said she'll be waiting for you at the table under the tree." Harriett piped up hesitantly, unsure whether telling him that was a good thing or maybe she should've just said she didn't know.

Before she could even complete her sentence Harm was already off like a shot, yelling over his shoulder as he ran into his office to drop off the file and secure the door, then towards the exit of the bullpen "I'm starting my lunch hour now."

Somewhere between the bullpen and the building's exit it started making sense he should exact a bit of his own revenge. He had a smashing idea for that part, actually. Checking through the window to make sure his assumptions were correct, he made the decision. Taking a couple of turns he entered the Law Library and, using his username and password, logged-into his email account.

Two minutes later an email was already on the way to it's recipient, leaving Harm rubbing his hands gleefully, if with a little bit manic expression.

With an almost arrogant swagger he exited the HQ and slowly made his way to the woman waiting for him.

The innocently smiling woman who looked like she wouldn't even hurt a fly. But looks can be deceiving. Harm knew that better than anyone.

Especially when it came to _her._

"You." he said, prodding her sternum with his finger.

"Me?" asked the brunette with the dancing eyes, not bothered at all by the threatening manner or the very personal touch.

"You're dead." he ground out severely.

"Really?" the lack of belief and concern clearly rang in her voice.

"Uh-huh." he nodded, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"You would really kill your dear, beloved wife?" the evil smirk was back "The mate of your soul, the center of your universe, the keeper of your heart? And all other corny expressions?"

Harm sighed in despair and resignation. He'd thought she would've forgotten by now, he'd _hoped_ so, but apparently no such luck. Indeed, the little witch was obviously quite enjoying the situation she'd put him in. He knew that when he got back to work he'd be in for a grilling of a lifetime. But after the Chinese, he was sure he could handle it without crumbling. Well, reasonably sure.

"But it's been over a year!" Harm wouldn't admit it even under the pain of death, but he knew he was dangerously close to whining if not already knee deep in it.

Some of the cheerfulness left her face "Yeah, it _has_ been over a year and I still get called either Mrs Rabb or Nail or something else along those lines."

Even through his own dis-satisfaction Harm had to appreciate the dirty ways his former squadron mates' minds worked. He was Hammer, so they named her Nail... hammers are nailing nails... She obviously didn't appreciate it, though, because proportionally to his widening smile, her scowl grew fiercer.

"Not only that, but they actually stole my flight helmet to white-out my callsign and replaced it with Nail. And you know the Tomcat I'm flying in? Yeah, that's the one. Right under my canopy it says LT "Nail" Rabb! Even the freaking CAG finds it funny!" okay, now _she_ was the one whining, wailing actually, and Harm let himself find some amusement in that.

"He would." chuckled Harm, thinking fondly of his godfather who knew how to appreciate a good joke "But, anyway, that's good, isn't it?"

"Yeah? I, for one, fail to see anything good in that."

"You're not having any problems with him over it... Some other CO could've made a stink about it."

"I guess." she admitted grudgingly.

Hiding another smirk, Harm tried to cheer up "his wife". To her dissatisfaction he was finding quite a bit of sadistic pleasure in teasing her. But her own enjoyment would come only after he'd returned to work and would have clean up the mess she'd left for him.

"Well, look at it this way at least: you could've been Buxton's RIO..."

The horrified look she gave him made it all up for what he'd have to endure from his coworkers. Seeing the sickly green colour that took over her face Harm decided to take pity on her and redirect their conversation to something more pleasant.

"How long are you here for?"

Skates' voice was still shaky as she pulled herself out of the nightmarish fate of being Buxton's RIO.

"Just another 3 days. I spent 7 with my parents and then decided to see and check how you were doing, the rest of the guys made sure I didn't forget. Obviously, the emails that are such a horror to you, aren't enough for them, especially Tuna. It's been boring without anyone to make bad jokes during those long hours in the air. Psycho is... well... she has absolutely no sense of humor and all she talks about is shooting people down or dropping bombs on their heads. I think she cares more about killing than flying. How she made it through flight school or even psych evals, I'll never know. Maniacs like that usually join the infantry or snipers."

Against her will, she found herself complaining over her new partner, the one that she had said she had no problem being partnered with, even against Harm's advice at the time. Upon reflection she realized it had been a knee-jerk reaction to "the incident". The one that shan't be spoken of. Not one of her better decisions, especially since Tuna had offered his empty back-seat to her after Boa was rotated shoreside due to her pregnancy.

"Told 'ya." Harm cherished the opportunity to finally be able to rub her nose into how right he'd been about the most... unstable... member of their unit that had been transfered in shortly before he'd left "So, Mrs Rabb, have you eaten anything yet? It just so happens I'm on my lunch hour."

"No. Not yet."

"It's on me." Harm comforted as if having to pay was something Skates was worried about "After all, we need to keep your strength up."

"Whhhhhyyyyyyyy?" Skates blinked up at him and drawled hesitantly, unsure whether she actually wanted to hear the answer or not.

"Because you're eating for two now, "my love"..."

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	3. Chapter 3

I know ya'll probably wondering what took so long to update today. Well, I'm working on putting the answer on youtube so interested parties will know. :) It was just too nice a day to pass it up.

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"Ma'am? What do I tell the Commander who's waiting for him?"

Just the question she'd been waiting for. Not slowing her stride Skates threw over her shoulder, her heart dancing evilly at the thought of what she'd just put in motion.

"His wife."

Rarely did the sound of something shattering fill her with so much satisfaction as it did now. Having disliked the blonde's officious manner as soon as she'd said who she was looking for Skates allowed herself a small, malicious cackle.

_I don't know what your problem is or who shoved the bug up your six, or maybe you're just having a bad day and need someone to take it out on, but take that, you snooty little bureaucrat._

Skates walked down the corridor and out the building with a small, but utterly wicked, grin playing on her lips.

Filled with mischevious satisfaction she could all too easily imagine the spectacular reaction her declaration had caused in the office and she didn't feel even the slightest bit guilty.

It had and would no doubt be the catalyst of much upheaval in the quiet life of JAG HQ and no doubt in the slow, boring office day-to-day life of Harmon Rabb Jr.

Harm, she was sure, would ultimately be grateful to her for livening his life up a bit.

_At least one day he would be... Hehehe._

She wasn't worried, though, sooner or later Harm would explain the story behind it. Then everyone would have a laugh over it and forget all about it as soon as someone else did something equally or more stupid. She knew all too well how military life worked and it was this she was banking on.

Ignoring the strange looks Skates strolled over to the bench, sighing in relief as the large tree offered her it's cool shade and protection from the hot sun. It may have been the end of Summer, and oh how she hated that fact, dreading Autum and Winter; but it was still hot. As much as she loved the heat, she had nothing on her head to protect her from the sun's effects. Fainting in front of Harm because of a sunstroke was not in her plans, it was actually the complete opposite.

Collapsing onto the bench and leaning forward on her elbows on the stone table, she released a pleased sigh as the stone's chill began to seep through her skin and spread throughout her body. She'd been so tense for the last 10 minutes that this chance to unwind while waiting for her friend was a bliss in pure form. A pleasant breeze played with her yellow summer dress, caressing soothingly down her sensitised body, cooling off her overheated skin.

Sitting there in the cool shade of the tree, she was content to occupy herself with people-watching while waiting, not having anything better to do anyway.

It felt a little strange, being on Navy property out of uniform, but she mostly cherished the anonymity her civilian garb gave her and for once her arm didn't feel like it would fall off from all the saluting.

A carrier is a tightly-knit family where most of the protocol and unnecessary ceremony is dispensed with in favor of smooth operations, but that isn't the fact for shore bases. Oh, how she hated military bases because she had to salute every single person she passed by, they were either lower or higher ranking, just the sequence of salutes was different depending on the other person's rank.

Now? Everyone just walked by her, she wasn't even registering on most of their scopes, they were too busy with their own occupations. Only a few of those who noticed her there gave her a brief look, though there _were_ a few younger officers and enlisted alike who sent her gazes of interest.

To those she sent back vibes of "Thanks, I'm flattered, but not interested", she wasn't there to catch herself a guy. She wanted to be ready and undistracted for Harm when he finally came out if she wanted to stay on top of the ensuing conversation.

Then there he was and Skates took a second to covertly appreciate the dashing figure he made in Summer Whites, she'd had so few opportunities to see him in them, the flight jumpsuit just didn't do him justice. Then he was near, amusement and irritation evident from his stiff posture and she was rising to meet him.

For a short moment of eternity she considered what he would do if she took that finger he'd been poking her with and did something erotic to it to throw him off balance, something involving her mouth and the digit in question, but then quickly banished that thought. Their relationship was complicated enough without getting sex involved. Still, his reaction would _almost_ be worth it.

Skates managed to maintain control of the situation for most of the conversation, but she knew it wouldn't last long.

That was their relationship. In the air they each had the say in their own field and trusted each other implicitly. If Skates told Harm to bank right, he would do that immediately, without questioning. If he told her to check their four o'clock or switch to ground radar she would do it ASAP. They trusted each other unconditionally and not just in an aircraft.

In every aspect of their relationship they constantly exchanged control to the other. One had it for a while, until the other, without a fight or a protest, took it from the first one. Then it repeated.

Navy's training turned them into a well-oiled machine in the air and their friendship, bond and simple compatibility made them into that everywhere else.

Skates was honestly curious when and how Harm would turn the tables on her and take over. That, the excited wondering of how and their efforts to find new, imaginative ways to do it, was another piece of excitement they got from this, another shard in the complicated mosaic that was the life they had when together.

"It's on me." Skates snorted in amusement at the implication, but she knew he'd made the offer to show he'd forgiven her for the stunt she'd pulled on him "After all, we need to keep your strength up."

_Then again, maybe not..._

"Whhhhhyyyyyyyy?" she drawled hesitantly, unsure whether she actually wanted to hear the answer or not.

This was sounding more and more serious. So, he wasn't buying her lunch because he'd forgiven her, but either because he'd done something he knew she'd be upset over and was trying smooth things out again or because it was a part of his not-yet-revealed plan.

"Because you're eating for two now, "my love"..."

_"My love"? Honestly, Harm, is that the best you can do?... Wait a minute! I'm eating for two? What the hell does he mean by that? Oh shit, I know that phrase..._ _Oh. My. God._ _He CAN NOT be serious! Can he? PLEASE tell me he's not serious!_

"What did you do?" she demanded, a little green around the gills.

"Oh, nothing much." Harm said, looking as if butter wouldn't melt in his mouth "Just stopped on my way out of the building and sent one of our mutual friends an email of my suspicion about your happy state and that he should keep the news to himself. The only... problem... is that he's not the type to keep secrets..."

The way Harm'd said "problem" made it perfectly clear he didn't consider it a problem. More like an advantage that played right into his plans.

_Oh. My. God. I was right. That bastard!_

"WHAT? YOU MADE ME PREGNANT?"

The loud, piercing shriek got them the attention of everyone in the courtyard, as people stopped in their tracks. Many pairs of eyes turned curiously towards them, some even nodding in congratulations.

Skates ducked her head, hoping to hide her fierce blush and to avoid anyone's eyes while furiously considering the ways she could hide her "husband's" body.

But she couldn't avoid long as Harm's voice, heavy with sarcasm, reached her "Thanks for that. Now everyone will think that not only am I married, but that we're also having a baby."

"Sorry." it was an instinctive reaction, slipping out before she could remember just why she had announced it to the world "Actually, I take that back, I'm not sorry. It's your own fault, _you _were the one to come up with this moronic scheme and then immediately told my shipmates! Serves you right!"

Harm had to concede that was true. He had messed up big time and was now paying the piper for his own actions. Twice. With how complicated he'd made this he was beginning to wonder whether anyone would even believe him when he'd try to explain.

"Why would you even do something like that? What the hell possessed you?" Skates wailed, barely holding herself back from either bursting into tears or violence, she didn't know which herself "They'll pull me off the duty roster before I even get back!"

"Nah." dismissed Harm, though secretly he was starting to see that maybe he shouldn't have done it. This whole thing was getting complicated fast and it was truthfully all his fault it even got started in the first place.

"Not for long, at least. Just until the pregnancy test they'll do on you do is back. As soon as they confirm your... condition... or rather the lack of it, they'll put you back on duty, so don't worry."

For the first time in her life Skates felt the genuine desire to inflict physical pain upon someone, one-on-one. Viciously, she strangled that urge until it went away, not just because it would've been a public scene that would've ended with her Article 32 for striking a superior officer, but also because it would've be wrong.

_A woman striking a man is no less wrong than a man striking a woman, the fact that one party is bigger doesn't matter, it is still the same and should be treated the same, by society and the legal system alike._

In the end she sighed, the air leaving her like a punctured balloon.

Her plan had back-fired spectacularly. Instead of paying him back for the mess he'd put them, especially her, in, she had ended up even deeper.

As it was, she didn't know which one of them was in deeper doodoo or if they could even get out of it.

If she'd been merely good-naturedly teased by her friends and teammates about being married to Harm before... Well, she doubted the teasing would continue what with her suspected pregnancy; so there would at least be some relief.

She _could _send an email denying the allegations, but that would probably do more harm than good (pun unintended, but very accurate) to the credibility of her claims. If she just went along with it, smiled, nodded and waved it away, it would only serve as confirmation.

No action she could take would do any good.

_Wait a minute_. she told herself as it ocured to her _Anything _ I _can do... If Harm were to... If I can convince him to take it back and make it clear it was just a joke, they'd believe him since he was the one the news of my pregnancy came from in the first place..._

As for Harm... as she'd seen, JAG HQ was staffed mostly with women and Skates was willing to bet Harm that at least half of them held torches for her former partner. In the shadow of the marriage everyone would believe in, there would be a lot of broken hearts, jilted women and anger. There was a chance their feelings would seep into their behaviour towards him.

Quid pro quo... together they could dig themselves out of this hole they'd tripped themselves in.

"Harm, we have a LOT to talk about..."

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**Reviews are love.**


	4. Chapter 4

I have nothing witty to say, sorry. :)

I'd just like to thank you all for reading and especially thanks to **robertwnielsen, Saissa, winjan, byrhthelm, jpstar57, Michi uk, Captain J 737, marye904 **and **jojobevco** for taking the time and leaving their lovely reviews.

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Jauntily whistling "The Colonel Bogey March" Harm made his way through the JAG courtyard with a bounce in his step, surprising a new batch of personnel.

Namely the ones who hadn't been present during Skates' screeched question/announcement. A few of the "old guard" that were present due to some coincidence just shook their heads and smiled, believing to know the reason for the man's good humor.

The lunch had been an resounding success and Harm was amazed just how quickly the bond he and Skates had shared on the Patrick Henry had re-established itself. It was as if they'd never parted, they'd so quickly and seamlessly clicked back into their friendship and banter.

By the time their hour together was coming to an end even Skates was finding humor in their situation and, upon being teased over the amount she was putting away, joked that she was eating for two now.

The ache in his heart at those words was promptly ignored and shoved to the back of his mind like he did with all the yearnings for something more in his life, something deeper and meaningful, something fulfilling. Things he knew he wasn't meant to have.

Dwelling on them would just make the emptiness of his life and the despair of his future all that more painful. He would take what contentedness he could in the here-and-now and hope that the memory of these moments would be enough to get him through the cold, lonely years to come.

Skipping up the few steps into the JAG building Harm paused at the Security Desk to show his credentials and sign back in. Which he did, after a suspicious glance at the two Marines sitting there, smirking at him.

Though he was sorely tempted to ask what was wrong, he knew all too well that with the police and security personnel that question was an indication to them that something _was_ wrong and you were afraid they'd found out. Which just caused them to take you under a microscope and give you some personal attention.

Clicking the pen closed and handing it back over he smiled pleasantly and was just about to leave when the small Corporal's soft clearing of throat halted him. Turning back around he peered curiously at her, but she just kept on smiling.

"Congratulations, Commander!" nodded the Corporal with a pleasant expression, that in itself being a conundrum.

"Uh." Harm looked at her strangely, but decided some things were better left undiscovered "Thanks."

Walking off, painfully aware of the eyes following him, he chose the stairs instead of waiting for the elevator where he'd be in plain sight for who knew how long.

As soon as he disappeared the Corporal turned to the SSgt, grinning widely as she received a twenty under the desk.

"See, Staff Sergeant, what did I tell ya'?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just rub it in, will ya." snarled the SSgt grumpily, but his female coworker knew him well enough to know when his bark had no bite "You just took my lunch money, isn't that enough for you?"

The Corporal's lips twitched as she had the mental image of her 5'4,5" self being school bully and taking the lunch money from a terrified Sergeant, more than twice her weight and over a foot taller.

Looking up at the man's grouchy expression she resolved not to mention it to him, lest she find herself on the graveyard shift for the next century.

Meanwhile Harm had arrived at the bullpen with no more than only one situation that told him that person had been in the courtyard. But now he stood before the big double doors and took a deep breath, steeling himself to enter the vultures' turf.

Pushing one of the doors open he peered inside. Confirming no-one had noticed his appearance he slipped inside and, keeping to the wall and out of sight, he slunk his way to his office where he intended to lock the door and shut the blinds to keep from anyone bothering him.

It went well and Harm was already thanking Gunny Crockett for teaching him stealth movement when, just as he was passing a door it opened and out stepped Legalman Sally Mcloud, carrying a box in her hands. It happened too quickly, there was no way Harm could avoid the collision and the bullpen's working tranquility was broken by the sound of heavy books thumping loudly to the ground.

Everything in the room stopped and all eyes turned to him, gazes going cold and many arms being crossed over chests. He could even her a foot tapping against the floor!

The sudden frosty silence clued him in to the antagonistic atmosphere prevailing in the office. He blinked, looking around in confusion. How was it possible for a situation to change so completely in one hour? When he'd left for his lunch everything had still been okay, but now the air was so thick he would need an ice-breaker ship to cut through it.

Poking her head through her door, Mac's eyes narrowed and lips thinned as she located her heart-conquering partner.

"Finally returned, have you?" she demanded, drawing near.

"Yes, I was on my lunch." Harm reminded, fighting back a defensive frown.

"And was it pleasant?"

"Well, it wasn't _un_pleasant."

"Hm." Mac nodded, the falseness of her smile made him cringe "Would that have something to do with your company for the meal?"

"Company?" Harm played a clueless idiot.

If he'd ever seen a kangaroo trial, this was it. Even though Mac was no further than her opening speech he could already feel the executioner placing the noose around his neck. No matter what he'd say, the sentence had already been passed.

"Yes, you know... The woman that was looking for you?" the pleasant expression was replaced by an angry gleam and her face going stone cold "Your WIFE?"

"Um." Harm gulped "You could say that, yes."

Mac's expression the shifted, showing her wounded feelings "Why didn't you tell us? Why did you feel like you had to hide your being married?"

This was the moment Harm had been waiting for, the moment he could make everything right "Look, Mac, things are not what they appear."

"No? Then, pray tell, what ARE they like?"

"Well, you see, I'm not..."

Whatever he'd said was cut off by Bud stumbling over and grabbing his hand in enthusiastic shaking.

"Commander! I just heard! I can't believe this, you're married? Congratulations, sir! When do we meet the bride? Owww! Harriett!"

The exclamation of pain brought Harm's eyes back into focus. Freeing the hand that felt like it was about to fall off, he looked from Bud, who was grimacing and glaring at his wife as he rubbed his calf, to the wife in question. The one standing next to Bud, alternating between sheepish and angry. Angry, to Harm's surprise, not at Bud, but at him.

_Why? What the hell is going on? Why is HARRIETT of all people angry at me? Heck, why is _ everyone_ angry at me? All the women are glaring as if they want to tear my heart out._

Harm was grateful for the sudden eye of the storm, but dreaded the moment they'd all recover.

"Admiral on deck!" came the voice of his sudden salvation.

Everyone froze to attention, Harm releasing a silent sigh of relief.

_Rescue. Thank god!_

"At ease." ordered Chegwidden gruffly as he strode into the bullpen and headed for his office. It took about 5 steps to become wise to the tension and he stopped in his tracks, slowly looking around.

He wasn't surprised to see Rabb at the center of it. _Rabb. Of course._

"Commander." he rumbled, approaching the younger man with slow steps until they were merely a foot apart "I've heard you've been negligent in keeping your records up to date. The Navy generally likes to be informed of a change in status of it's members. Especially when this status involved newly minted dependents. I expect to see your Page 2 revised within the hour."

"But, sir..." Harm started to protest, desperately wanting to clarify the situation.

Chegwidden gritted his teeth as he tried to keep control of his temper "No buts, Mr Rabb, that is an order. I also hear another congratulations are in order..."

"Sir?" Harm asked, confused from not paying attention, since he was trying to figure out a way how to convince everyone he was telling the truth.

"Well, your impending fatherhood, Commander..."

Even Harm could hear the contempt in his CO's voice at his forgetting the existence of his own child.

"As said, I want your new paperwork within the hour. Carry on, everyone." the JAG ordered and, looking straight ahead, marched into office.

There was complete silence for a few seconds, deadly silence. Harm had the mental image of himself being surrounded by hostile natives, all pointing weapons at him and just waiting for a twitch of his body to fill him full of holes.

"BABY?" came the high-pitched shriek of his Iranian-descendant coworker.

Dread in his heart, Harm turned back around. Of the multitude of women surrounding him, all wearing the same expressions and all demanding answers, none of them could match the fury on the Marine's face.

"Look, I..."

"No, you look," snapped Mac, finally fed up with it all "you got married and didn't tell anyone and that's okay, we all make mistakes. BUT you are about to become a father and we, your friends, have to find out from the ADMIRAL because you don't have the decency to tell us yourself?"

"Look, Mac."

"Shut up, I'm not done talking." she ordered and launched into a tirade.

In that moment Harm knew the only thing he could do was to retreat and let everyone cool down before he made another attempt at explaining. A little creative thinking was in order to get out of there and after a moment's thought he had a brilliant idea.

"Look!" he cried out, pointing with his finger towards the entrance "Isn't that George Clooney?"

"Where?" all the women turned as one, Mac cutting off in the middle of her rant as she followed their example, this allowing Harm to make a break for it, which he did.

Running into his office he locked the door, collapsing back against it and drawing the blinds as disappointed and disgusted yells sounded from the room behind him.

There was no way he was placing a foot out of that office or letting anyone else in for the rest of the day, even if the bombs started falling.

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**Reviews are love.**


	5. Chapter 5

No, I didn't confuse Thursday with Wednesday, I'm actually deliberately updating today. :)

There exists a strong chance that I'll leave on vacation next week so I'd like to get the rest of the story out before then, I know all too well just how much waiting for the next/last part sucks when the author leaves for an undetermined amount of time.

I'm very very happy you guys like this fic, the reception and other aspects of their friendship, bond and compatibility are making me consider writing more of this pairing. Hopefully inspiration and muse will cooperate, they can be very fickle.

Anyway, as they say in show-business: the show must go on!

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"I can't believe how tight-lipped and uncooperative Harm was being today." complained Mac, nursing her glass of soda as she took full advantage of being allowed to unwind with some sympathetic female company.

"Did he say anything to you?" she turned hopefully to Harriett, who grimaced at having to disappoint her superior and friend.

"Unfortunately no, ma'am. Once he left his office he managed to evade all my attempts to get anything out of him."

Mac sighed, grumbling "It really is inconsiderate of him, the least he could do is put us out of our misery. It's not like him being married doesn't affect some of us..."

"Well, ma'am... er, Mac... for some reason I have the feeling we'll find out tonight."

Mac looked at her oddly "What makes you say that, Harriett?"

"Because the CDR and his... visitor have just entered the bar." pointed out the blond Ensign. No matter how much she'd tried she hadn't been able to force herself to say "wife".

Mac immediately turned her head to search them out and was surprised to see Harm guiding his... his... his wife, ungh, with a hand to the small of her back in their direction. Something about the small brunette struck a chord within Mac's memory cells.

"She looks familiar." she remarked, tilting her head as she narrowed her eyes, busily going through her memories to match the face with an event "But for the life of me I can't remember where I saw her."

"Well, they're coming over and I doubt the CDR won't introduce us to each other." Harriett pointed out reasonably.

It was true, with a hand to the small of the petite woman's back Harm was guiding her in their direction, the closeness of their bodies making Harriett frown. It was almost like the woman was leaning into his touch and when he whispered something into her ear that produced a delighted laugh, Harriett scowled so hard she almost broke her facial bones.

Forcing a smile on her face she strove to appear pleasant when the couple stopped in front of their table, even though all she wanted to do was to leap out of her chair and strangle them both.

"Guys, this is my "wife"," Harm introduced with a humor-filled tone "Lieutenant Elizabeth "Skates" Hawkes, my Radar Intercept Officer from last year's carrier duty, the woman struck with the miserable duty of watching my six in the air."

The last remark provoked a couple of giggles as some of the women disagreed with his take on the quality of such a duty and it being a duty at all.

"If that is misery, please give me a life sentence." whispered Logistics Specialist Leona Bracks to her friend and coworker Legalman Jennie Pars.

"Judge, I've been a bad girl. Please punish me!" agreed the other girl and they giggled before being shushed by a scowling Harriett. Their eyes met mutely, amusement still dancing in them, both wishing that the Commander would just _please turn around_.

"Skates, these are..." Harm beamed in pride and pleasure as he introduced his RIO and close friend, then pointed out and named each member of the staff present, even the Admiral who approached with a raised eyebrow.

"No wonder you looked familiar. We met on the Seahawk for LT Buxton's case." Mac said smiling as she extended her hand to be shaken. As soon as she was sitting again she sent a small, scolding glare at her younger coworker.

_See? You were just panicking. There's nothing to worry about._

Harriett caught the stare and nodded shame-faced, looking down at her hands.

Harm pulled a chair out for Skates and then pushed it in as she sat down, making Mac's eyebrow raise at that Skates didn't say anything about him doing this. Not only that, but she'd actually seemed to expect he'd do this - why that was, though, Mac had no idea. The simple truth was this wasn't the first time, besides the fact Skates knew Harm well enough to expect something like this of him. Harm then liberated a seat from a nearby table and put it next to Skates, taking place himself.

Any conversation was postponed by the waitress' immediate appearance. She took the newly arrived couple's orders, to Harm's surprise not even attempting to engage in their usual light flirting both knew went nowhere, and Mac waited until she was back with the drinks and gone again to finally ask the question that had been burning the tip of her tongue.

"Now that you're here you can finally put us out of our collective misery, Lieutenant. Why did you introduce yourself as Harm's wife? You're not really married, are you?"

"It's a penance Hammer is still paying, ma'am." Skates answered grinning, only depeening everyone's confusion.

Mac didn't get the chance to say anything as Harm interrupted in a no-nonsense voice, glancing at Mac to make it clear it applied to her too.

"There are no ma'ams or sirs here, Skates, only friends. Unless, of course you're the JAG." he smirked, looking at his CO, who raised his glass in acknowledgment.

"Yes, sir." Skates retorted, grinning impishly.

"Brat." Harm muttered, but grinned back fondly.

Harriett was observing them closely, her previously relieved heart sinking back down quickly. They weren't acting like any pilot/RIO pair she'd ever met before, if she wasn't wrong [and she never was, Bud knew that better than anyone] they were actually _flirting!_

This wasn't good. She chanced a glance at Mac to see if the other woman had noticed it as well and gratified saw a confused frown marring the Marine's forehead.

As interesting as the exchange was, Mac wanted to get back on track with the explanation "You were saying something about a penance?"

Skates nodded and took a second to collect her thoughts.

"It happened about 4 months after Hammer... er, Harm, joined the squadron and we were partnered up, when we threw anchor in Turkey for a few days and had shore leave..."

"Oh, come on, you're not really gonna tell them the story, are you?" Harm complained.

"Hush you." Beth quieted him, but the fondness and affection in her tone didn't go unnoticed by anyone. There were a lot of raised eyebrows and looks shared around the table.

Harriett had the sudden image of a wife lovingly shushing her husband's protests over a matter that was important to her and not damaging to him.

"It's only fair they find out what that today was all about. But I _could_ tell the story about the lobster instead..." Skates trailed off, teasing as his coworkers' ears perked up.

Shaking his head, Harm back-pedaled quickly, trying to avert a disaster "On the other hand, a little humiliation never hurt anyone."

Mac suppressed a smirk at how quickly Harm had changed his mind, while inside her the desire rose to find out what was with the lobster. Many were disappointed, having wanted to know what was so embarrassing that the CDR wanted to keep from anyone.

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The small woman in front of them certainly knew how to handle him and if Mac was truthful with herself, she was envious of that ability. Even after four years of partnership she still hadn't been able to discover what made her sometimes-partner tick, how to handle him without putting her stiletto-heeled foot in her mouth and again tearing them back down to square one.

On the other hand, this petite, young girl had figured him out in the space of less than six months. It was humbling and it was also envy- and awe-inspiring.

Either Mac was an abysmal psychologist or she and Harm were just so drastically different that there was no way she'd ever be able to understand him because their thought processes were too different. There was also the third option: maybe she just didn't want to understand him. Maybe she had just simply slapped a label on him the first day they'd met and put him into a corresponding box.

Yet, if anyone, Harm was the entirely wrong person to limit with some generalized label, he was far too complex. Doing him this injustice also meant having completely failed at even getting a small clue of who he truly was, the end result being never understanding him and always misunderstanding his thoughts, his motivations, his reasons, basically misunderstanding everything he did and was.

And that was one of the reasons for all their problems. Mac failed to understand they weren't alike, that they were completely different, and that she, with her stubborn refusal to explain what she really wanted or at least put it in words in the first place, because she expected him to read her mind out of that belief they were so alike that he would understand her thought- and feeling-processes, continued to unknowingly sabotage not just any chance for anything deeper between them, but also any real stability their friendship could have.

Yet, in the case of Harm and Skates she again forgot Harm wasn't that simple, that Skates wasn't a lion handler that had her lion under control 100 percent of the time. A tamed lion is still a lion and you never know when he'll demonstrate to you just how arrogant you are in believing you are completely in control of him.

While Harm was being docile and grudgingly cooperative with Skates' decision of how to do this, Beth still knew he was merely _allowing _ her to tell the story. If she did or said something he didn't agree with or approve, he _would_ rebel and stop her. It was this pure power and strength that she respected and greatly admired in him.

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"Actually, you know what? Maybe I'll tell that story next..." Skates glowed triumphantly, testing his limits, how far he was letting her go.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Harm warned lazily, leaning back in his chair as he looked out from low-lidded eyes.

"And why not?" she asked, chin set defiantly.

"Because it can quickly be twins. Triplets, even. And a call to your parents to notify them of the happy news."

Skates blanched as everyone listened in confusion and interest.

"You wouldn't?"

"Oh, yes, I would."

"That would just sink you deeper in the hole you dug yourself."

"True." Harm admitted, nodding lazily "But it's a sacrifice I'm willing to accept. And your folks love me so it's not like I would have to hide from a shotgun-armed father..."

"The last I checked he had an AR-15 and an AK, not a shotgun. No, you'd only have to hide from a mother that would be squealing gleefully while making wedding plans."

"Aw, your mother is a dear, I'm sure she'd understand I tried to propose, but you turned me down. Does 'I don't need a man' sound familiar to you?" he grinned evilly.

"If you do that I'll call _your_ parents." Skates smirked.

"You could." Harm agreed "But do you want to be married even before your conversation with Mom is over? Your mother can still be convinced to see sense, but once mine gets going it's like someone put blinders on her. You remember what happened when I took you to meet them on our last leave before I switched back designators?"

"Fine." Skates paled at the memory. That had been one seriously desperate mother.

_Good god, I could almost hear her thinking "potential mother of grandkids" when she gave me that bone-crushing hug the first second Harm introduced us. Poor woman, she probably thinks Harm will never settled down and it's obvious she wants grandkids. The woman that marries into that family is gonna be under a whole lot of pressure from the mother-in-law to quickly start popping out a rugby team._

Turning back to Harm's friends she saw they'd been listening in to their conversation with very obvious interest. _From the looks his partner and the bureaucrat are sending us, Hammer is in for some serious groveling..._ This thought mollified her at least a little.

"Anyway, when it happened we were...

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**Reviews are love.**


	6. Chapter 6

Since I've been such a good boy to give you three updates in one week, plus another short fic, PLEASE don't forget to leave a comment. You never know, I might get inspired for a fic by it... it's happened plenty of times before. :)

As always, heartfelt thanks to **robertwnielsen, Lynnp, Saissa, byrhthelm, winjan, jojobevco, jpstar57, marye094, zeilfanaat, mad86 and Michi uk.**

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"...in port in Turkey and the entire squadron received shore leave. Even though it's a muslim country it's pretty easy to get alcohol and aviators being what we are, we quickly found ourselves a nice tavern to get drunk after a long, tiring day of beaches, sunning and swimming."

There was a wistful sigh of happy rememberance at her side when she mentioned the beaches with plenty of local and foreign girls sunning topless and Skates playfully sent him a glare, having read his mind. Harm's eyes twinkled in response.

She knew he was full of shit, though, because a) even though she'd taken her bikini top off in front of him she'd been acutely aware that he hadn't let his eyes go below her neck; and b) he'd stayed with her, so he hadn't had the chance to appreciate the other views.

He and the other two [married] guys detailed for the women of the squadron had for the rest of the stay at the beach acted in a way she was sure would piss off many a woman.

Not them however. Maybe they were wacko or just had a weird sense of humor, but the three woman had felt flattered, because it was a soothing confirmation they were considered a full part of the squadron and not just annoying interlopers into their brotherhood.

Letting the other guys wander off to try their luck with the native or tourist girls showing off their assets in the blazing Mediterranean sun, they'd stuck with their women, settling their towels next to theirs in a way as to make outsiders think they were all paired off.

Thus they consciously robbed themselves of the chances for their own pleasure in order to protect their womenfolk from any unwanted advances and to provide them with the peace they desired. As said, Skates, Boa and Kitty didn't mind since they could do whatever they wanted without constantly being interrupted by come-ons and as they were all very fit and reasonably attractive they would probably be the prime target on the beach.

Skates had to suppress a giggle how red Harm's face had been the entire time there and it had not been from the sun! She was nowhere near as endowed as his female Marine coworker or as thin or as tall, unlike Mac she wasn't sex on legs, but she was attractive enough that Harm had been tormented all day with the need to take a peek. The fact that he'd refused to do so had had him in a state of slow-burn arousal throughout the day and had been the cause for him getting drunk out of his mind.

"But with _some of us that shall remain unnamed_ being so lightweight..." Skates emphasised the words with a meaningful glance in the direction of her partner, ignoring his indignant protest of "hey!" and continued "... it quickly got interesting. Aaaaaaaaand somewhat emotional..."

_"The driver and the RIO are almost as close as a married couple, hell, they're even closer!" Harm lectured, waving his beer bottle in the air, face flushed deep with alcohol having by now taken effect. _

_"They rely on each other to survive and get back to the carrier alive and in one piece. They spend more time trapped in extremely close quarters with each other than an average married couple will in their entire life. This creates a deep bond between them that is unbreakable."_

_All around the pushed-together-tables scores of Naval aviators cheered in agreement, as the late hour and the booze made themselves known._

_"Who are we closer to than the one person watching our six? The person we share everything but our bunks with? That we're trapped with into a cramped metal tube for hours and hours on end with no-one else for company, practically in each other's laps? We're almost like married." Harm continued, demonstrating an impressive ability to speak somewhat inteligibly even completely sloshed. _

_The owner of the bar meanwhile watched with trepidation, fervently praying the drunken party wouldn't end with a bar-brawl as it happened too often with drunk Americans._

_"Here's to unsung heroes of the naval aviation, here's to our RIOs!" Harm yelled, thrusting his beer into the air with such force that some of the liquid splashed over the side, wetting his leg. Harm didn't notice however. Indeed, he was too busy swinging a heavy arm around a small brunette sitting by his side and hiding her face in her hands from embarrassement to notice anything at all _

_Then, in his drunken enthusiasm and appreciation, came the moment when Harm sealed their fates._

_"Here's to my "wife"!"he didn't forget to make the air-quotes. His toast was accompanied with cheers and some laughter, coming mainly from the other two women of the group who found their friend's predicament hilarious._

_"Hey, what about those of us not lucky enough to have female RIOs?" protested LT Jacks, glancing at his own back-seater "No offense, Bugsy, but Skates looks a hell of a lot better than you do. And she smells nicer too!"_

_"No problem, man, coz I couldn't agree more." agreed LTJG Michael "Bugsy" Malone and giving a fake lecherous look to the woman in question, evoked a fresh round of laughter all 'round the table._

_Skates, one of the three people not completely wasted, the ones responsible for getting all the members of the squadron back to the ship without getting lost, robbed or killed; sank her nails into Harm's forearm as it rested heavily against her belly, pressing her into his body. But either he was too intoxicated or her nails were just too short, he didn't even notice, which pissed her off even more. _

_Looking at Bugsy and Jacks she nodded and smiled, showing she didn't hold it against them, while silently cursing Harm for his stupidity and the fact that he wouldn't let her go. Not only was he embarrassing her, but he was like a freaking human furnace and the air was stiffling enough already._

_Skates sighed and looked around, seeing the gang was quickly approaching the alcoholic point of no return. To her misfortune, however, not one was drunk enough yet not to remember anything of this night in the coming years. _

_Okay, so she wasn't disgusted at the thought of being a wife, even Hammer's wife, but these were not the circumstances she wanted to gain such a title. Having Harm name her exactly that in his emotional rant, she simply _ knew_ it would come to bit her on her six. She was only grateful the CAG knew them both enough not to take it seriously when he was to hear about it._

_She could stand teasing, but the thought of just how much ammunition Harm had just given their friends made her heart sink._

_Feeling another momentary emotional squeeze of her small body she glared up at the man smiling drunkenly, but strangely openly, down at her. Something softened inside her heart, she'd never seen him this open and vulnerable with anybody and she was flattered he felt safe with her to do this, that he trusted her to this level._

_Yet, even the sudden appreciation for his friendship and caring didn't stop her from making an oath to him "I swear to you on my dog's grave, you'll never live this down. Even if I have to haunt you out of my grave." _

"The next day, the rest of the squadron put money together and bought all three "married couples" simple wedding rings." Skates added ruefully.

To prove this, Harm extended his hand in the air and pulled his Academy ring half off his finger, showing the slim band that had been hidden by the bigger ring.

Fearlessly he met Skates' confused glare "You're wearing it?"

He shrugged "It's a nice reminder of the squadron. I miss being a part of it."

For some reason she could almost feel her own burn through the multiple layers of her handbag. Her reasons were pretty much the same, she'd been missing her friend and aside from that one photo, the ring was the only thing she had to remember him by. She knew how it would look to other people if they knew she took the ring everywhere with her and what conclusions they would draw, but they were wrong. It was because it wasn't that way, that the ring was in her purse instead of on her hand or on the dog-tag chain around her neck.

Not wanting for anyone to dwell on this little tid-bit for long she resumed her narration.

"Harm's little speech occasionally still haunts me. Okay, so I'm not the only one, but at least Boa and Kitty aren't alone, they have their "husbands" with them in the hole Harm put us all in, so the teasing is shared evenly. And Boa's been engaged for the last 6 months and is now pregnant, so they've long since lost interest in her and Slider. With Harm gone, I don't have him there to take comfort in not being the only one in this "marriage". Because he's safe from that, I've been keeping my promise whenever and wherever I can. Hence, me introducing myself as his wife today... putting him up to the grilling I'm sure he was subjected to." finished Skates her story and looked around.

Seeing so many not meeting her eyes she nodded at the confirmation of having been right.

"I'm sorry for using you all. At the time I did it I didn't know just how closely knit this command is and that I would be hurting innocents. I guess this thing's been dragging on too long and that it's time it ends."

There were murmurs around as various people waved off her concern and regret.

They could've held it against her as she _had_ done something unethic, but they were simply too fascinated with the tale she'd woven to really hold it against her.

"But what about the child?" demanded the Admiral's gruff voice "You, Mr Rabb, promised you would explain tonight, that's the only reason you're not currently working through 50 FOIA requests since you didn't update your Page 2."

"Baby?" asked Skates confused, looking to Harm.

"You're pregnant, remember?" Ham sigh, again beating himself up over this.

"Oh." recognition dawned in the small woman's chocolate eyes, followed by the twitching of cheeks "Well, you got me pregnant, so you explain."

"Thanks." Harm grunted sarcastically "You're a doll. I can see why I married you."

"Well, Commander?" growled Chegwidden "We're waiting..."

"There is no baby, sir. Skates is not pregnant." he stated adamantly, then murmured to himself "As far as I know, at least."

But Skates had heard him and protested at what she saw as a slight to her character "Hey!"

"I didn't mean anything by it and you know it." Harm defended "It's just that we haven't seen each other in a while, so I'm not current on your love life."

"Still," Skates grumbled, not willing to forgive him so soon "you should know that I'm not the kind of girl to sleep around. And definitely not stupid enough to get myself knocked up out of wedlock."

"True." Harm sighed remorsefully "I should've known that. I really am sorry for not considering that."

Mollified, Skates nodded, before their attention was demanded by a sound that could either be a growl or a clearing of throat. Neither knew, nor were they willing to ask the emmitter for a clarification. Or for a repeat.

"As fascinating as this is, why don't we get back on topic?" drawled AJ sarcastically once he had their attention.

Hearing the rebuke in his CO's voice, Harm straightened instinctively "Aye, sir. Long story short, the baby was my revenge for Skates' telling everyone we were married and thus dunking me in deep. I emailed a member of our squadron and when I told Skates of this during lunch hour in the courtyard she reacted more vocally than I expected. We were overheard and that's how the rumor spread."

The disappointed glares around the table made Harm feel even worse "I know what I did was dumb and I regret it."

"You'll be regretting it even more when the guys start calling or emailing you." remarked Skates and Harm nicked in agreement.

"So, you're not married?" exhaled Harriett in relief, checking to be sure. Her cheeks hurt from her wide smile, her mind again full of plans for a wedding and tiny babies with olive skin and blue-green eyes.

"Get real, Harriett, Harm is commitment phobic." giggled Mac "As if he would ever get married."

But Mac was interrupted in her explanation by a very thoughtful looking Harm, who seemed to be part confused, part exalted and part anxiously terrified.

"Actually." he interdicted, rudely cutting Mac off "You know what I just realized? It's actually not such a bad idea after all."

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**Reviews are love.**


	7. Chapter 7

I hope this chapter justifies your trust and belief in this story and thanks for sticking with it.

Especially big thanks to **byrhthelm, robertwnielsen, swimERfanatic13, Lynnp, Saissa, Captain J 737, jpstar57, Michi uk, winjan, marye904, Rocky Oberlin, mad86, jojobevco **and **zeilfanaat.**

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"WHAT?" could be heard in Dolby surround sound®

"You're wrong, Mac, and I'm gonna prove that to you."

"Really?" asked Mac, cynical tone prevailing "How?"

"Marry me."

"What? Are you kidding?"

"I'm serious, Mac." Harm told her earnestly, softly taking her small hands in his.

Soulfully staring into her deep chocolate eyes where he could see her soul looking back at him he fell even deeper in love with her.

"Harm, if you're just screwing around..."

"No, I'm not." denied Harm, shaking his head determinedly "You know I'd never play with you. I love you, Mac. You're it for me, I know it in my heart."

"Harm..."

"Don't try to deny it, Mac. I know you feel the same for me..."

"I..." Mac's dark eyes lowered, unable to maintain contact "I... Youi're right."

"What? Did hear you..." Harm sing-songed.

"You're right, okay?" Mac snapped, angry "I love you, you smug son of a bitch."

"So, you'll marry me?" he repeated, needing to make sure.

"I must be crazy, but yes."

Harm grinned and leaning over the table took her lips in a kiss that melted the ice in every drink. Once he let her go he turned to Skates, while the dazed Mac continued to blink mutely.

"Skates, will you be my Best Woman?"

"I'd be honored to, Hammer®."

"Thanks, Beth. Knew I could count on you." Harm said, smiling the ladykiller smile before turning to Harriett.

"So, Harriett, I guess there's a wedding to plan. You think you're up to it?"

Harriett's ecstatic scream could be heard for miles.

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The big, calloused hands on her smaller ones were what rescued Skates from her horrible day-dream. Or, better said, daymare. It took a few blinks and mental pep-talk to remind her that that horrible scene hadn't happened and Harm hadn't really proposed to Mac and declared his undying love for her. The scenario would've been too awful and too painful. Only after she'd banished those horrors did she remember that Harm _had_ in fact said that getting married was not a bad idea and then taken her hands in his, gazing at her.

Her eyes grew enormous as it dawned on her what that meant and silence took over the table, all gaping at Rabb with mixed expressions and feelings.

"What?" Skates stammered, not sure whether she'd heard correctly or not.

"I mean it. Let's get married." Harm repeated, a tendril of hope shining in his eyes.

Skates did a pretty good imitation of a fish for a few seconds before she finally regained control.

"You can't be serious!" she breathed, before reaching up to make sure he wasn't having a fever.

Harm allowed the touch for a second, surprising Skates when he leaned into her hand, then shook it off.

"Yes, I'm serious." he insisted, taking her small hand back into his and brushing a gentle kiss across her nuckles. Skates couldn't react to this most surprising gentle touch, just observed him mutely, stunned by him treating _her_ this way "Just think about it... It makes sense! It makes sense for the two of us to get married... And since we're no longer in the same chain of command there are no longer any fraternization issues..."

Regaining her footing a little, Skates growled through gritted teeth, hurt that he would play with her like this "This is not the time or the place to talk about something like this, Hammer." 

"Okay, maybe not." conceded Harm "But I think it's something worth talking through in the first place."

Mac's and Harriett's eyes met. While this whole matter had been hilarious at the start it wasn't such anymore.

Harm continued in a voice that surprised everyone how tender it was, addressed her with her first name, shocking her again. He only ever used her callsign, family name or a shortened version of her first name, but never her entire first name. It was that little detail that imported it into her just how serious he was being about this.

"Elizabeth, what other woman will ever understand me as you do? Understand what flying means to me... Every other woman I have ever known has held it against me."

Mac's face blanched with guilt. Even though she knew it hadn't been meant for her she still knew that he was right and that she was one of those people who'd resented him for this important and vital part of who he was, never failing to show him that resentment and sometimes even hate.

But since it wasn't his intention to guilt Mac Harm wasn't looking at her and that way didn't see her expression as he continued, staring into Skates' stunned eyes. As he delivered the words he needed to say, he was afraid for a second that her eyes would pop right out of their sockets.

"Who better for my wife than THE woman who not only understands my love for flying, but even shares it? The woman who was also my RIO, the other part of our two-man team and has always watched my six, the woman I always unquestioningly trusted with my life... Well, there _is _ just one condition..."

"Yeah, what's that?" asked a dazed Skates, desperately trying to find her equilibrium, while feeling a flood of dread come over her. That sensation surprised her, she couldn't actually be wanting this, could she?

"Your Marilyn French & Co. book collection? They've got to go!" Harm declared, fighting to keep a smile hidden.

"WHAT?" cried Skates indignantly, the flush of outrage coloring her features a pretty purple "I don't have..."

Then, seeing Harm smirking, she broke off and glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest and muttering "Jerk."

"Get serious, Harm." Mac interrupted, trying to help Skates out of a situation the young woman obviously didn't want and diffuse a situation that was quickly becoming damn awkward and unpleasant "How well do you even know each other? You shouldn't rush into a marriage."

Harm rolled his head towards Mac and the surprise on his face revealed he'd completely forgotten he and Skates weren't alone. Rewinding Mac's words he gave her an incredulous look.

"Are _you _serious? We spent every minute of six months together. The only thing we didn't share was a bunk, Mac. I know her better than I've ever known anyone. I know she takes black coffee with three sugars after she gets up, milk an two sugars at lunch and just milk at dinner unless she's got a night-time mission. I know she curls up to face the wall when sleeping and that she drools..."

"Hey! I do not!" Skates interrupted indignantly, features flushed from embarrassement as she tried to turn him into a pile of ashes with just her eyes.

"Yes, you do." argued Harm, then tried to smooth things over "But only lightly. You can ask anyone."

Her face aflame, Skates just continued seething, while Mac asked curiously "How do you know that, Harm? You two weren't sharing a stateroom... Or were you?" she finished suspiciously.

"Ready Room." Harm shrugged and it took Mac a second to remember what that was, then nodded in acceptance of his answer. Skates paled even more, if she'd done that in the Ready Room... how many people had watched her drool all-over the place?

"As I was saying," Harm took up his previous recital "I know that she loves Jane Austen, even though she'll deny it to everyone till her dying breath, even to herself. I know she likes a band called Nightwish, her favorite song being "Sleeping Sun". I know she likes fried chicken, but doesn't like it cooked and carries everywhere with herself a bag of M&M's and a bag of roasted almonds. I know her to-do in life is to see Himalaya from the ground, ride a camel and travel all-over Africa. I know that under that aggressive exterior she is actually a softie, who feels deeply. I know..."

"No, no, no, no! This _can not_ be happening!" heard a green-looking Harriett a muffled protest from her side as the CDR just went on listing Skates' traits and quirks and couldn't agree more with the young Legalman.

She felt like she was watching two trains speed at each other at top velocity on the same track, blowing their sirens, but neither engaging their brakes. Why the heck had she discarded the idea of making a double-event out of her own wedding back then? Had she not, then none of this would've been happening right now!

"Wow." whispered Mac softly, eyes wide as Harm just continued talking. Glancing at the young woman she could see Skates herself was impressed with the depth of his knowledge, confirming everything he'd said was true. A look at the Admiral revealed a stern visage, his jaw set as he probably contemplated a list of charges, but couldn't find any that would stick due to lack of evidence. Harm had told the truth, even though he and Skates were of different ranks, they definitely weren't in the same chain of command, therefore they could do what they wanted as long as it didn't directly threaten the Navy.

The table was quiet, partly from surprise and partly from envy, as many of the women wished the handsome Commander had paid that much attention to _them_ as he obviously had to his attractive RIO.

When Harm was done there was an impressed silence for only about 3 seconds, before a soft voice began slowly narrating, the speaker looking like she was in a trance, like the words spilled out of her without her will, like they were supposed to be spoken.

"I know he's grumpy in the morning and that it takes him 3 cups of black coffee before he really wakes up, I know he pats the inside of his canopy when he gets into the plane so the next time it opened he would be getting out on his own, I know he plans on buying and restoring another Corvette to replace the one that was stolen, I know that he sometimes wishes to retire so he can travel the world on his own schedule and without being fired at, I know that he despises television and prefers books, I know that he squeezes the tube from the middle, that he secretly loves BDU pants because of all the pockets, I know that he wants a family of his own some day..." Skates trailed off, amazement filling her rich tones as the full impact of what they'd both said sank in.

She and Harm continued to gaze in each other's direction, their pools a maelstrom of conflicting thoughts and emotions. But there was a member in the audience who would not take this lying down and would fight to the bitter end to prevent this sham from going further.

"But that's just surface knowledge!" erupted Harriett desperately, panicking.

She didn't like where this was going and she desperately wanted to avert the disaster she knew it would lead to. There would be tiny olive-skinned aquamarine-eyed babies even if she had to pull a gun and start shooting, damnit!

"That's something anyone can know, it's not something you can build a marriage on! What about more private, intimate things that a lover would know? THOSE are important!"

"That's exactly what they are, Ensign. Intimate, private." stated Skates firmly "Neither of us is willing to reveal them to other people just to prove we know those too."

"Which we do." added Harm, to make sure there was no misunderstanding over that.

"But, still, Harm..." wide eyes turned stared up at him, trapping him, not allowing him to look away "Marriage? Isn't this a little sudden? We never dated... You never even hinted you think of me that way."

Her eyes seemed to change color as she swam through the current of conflicting thoughts before her features set in determination and she stood up "We need to talk!"

"Wha..."

"You can't just drop such an announcement on me and expect to... I don't know what you expected, but you and I need to have a talk in private!" she stated and pulled his unresisting form to his feet, then pushed him towards the bar's exit, saying their goodbyes for them.

In complete silence the entire tableau watched as the small woman manhandled the much larger man, bustling him through the bar towards the exit.

As he was dragged away, they could hear him try to employ his negotiational skills.

"We can get a hop to Nellis with no problem. Heck, we may even get to fly ourselves. What do you say to a last ride in a Tomcat together? Or at least in some Eagle. Still... it's got two engines... and two seats... and they can probably have it ready ASAP... We even have the rings already!"

Skates said nothing, just opened the door and started dragging Harm out. Suddenly remembering his manners he put on the brakes, proving to everyone he had only let himself be dragged away, then turned around, smiling widely.

"Thanks for the idea, Harriett!" he yelled out just before a sudden jerk overbalanced him in favor of the parking lot and the door slammed shut behind him.

All eyes, reflecting from pity to hilarity to dismay, turned to Harriett who was still staring at where the CDR disappeared, mouth gaping open, doing an amazing imitation of a fish on dry land.

Then the import of what had just happened broke through to her. She'd set her own worse nightmare in motion... Contrary to everything she'd fought and worked for for years, she'd put into the Commander's head the idea of marrying someone other than Mac. Right now he was trying to persuade the woman to see him way.

Harriett burried her face in her hands and cried.

**THE END**

**Reviews are love.**


	8. Outtake 1

This part is only a BLOOPER or an OUT-TAKE for Penance, not meant as a real epilogue or something. :)

Especially big thanks to **robertwnielsen, byrhthelm, jpstar57, les, jojobevco, Sarai, Saissa, zeilfanaat, Michi uk, winjan, carolfd and Rocky Oberlin.**

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"Did I really see what I think I just saw?" Harm asked shakily as he and Skates walked down the tarmac towards the main building.

"Uh." Skates was still shaking her head, quickly going into denial mode. Harm saw this and tried to head it off.

"Was that really Elvis talking to a little gray alien in that hangar that just closed?"

But he was too late "No, it wasn't. You saw nothing, Harm. We're both suffering from annoxia, we'll need to have them check the oxygen supply system."

"But Beth!" Harm protested, not willing to give it up.

"No, Harm!" snapped Skates, shaken so badly her temper was short "Let's just find us an Elvis and get married already."

"Well, we ARE staring at one right now... We can simply ask THE Elvis if he wants to do the honors..."

"Elvis is dead, Harm, he certainly was not waving at me right now, that was just Fata Morgana. And that little gray thing with a big head and bulging black eyes next to him was definitely not making rude gestures with his hips towards me..."

"You're right, let's just get a FAKE Elvis instead of the real one and get married. Cause that is SUCH a better option... Fakes were always better than the real thing... Oh, well, at least there's a silver lining: I won't even have to send an email to retract that last one. Whatever they'll be thinking of us will be true by the time you get back."

"If you don't stop talking and start getting us a vehicle, it won't be."

"Yes, _dear._"

"See? We're already like an old married couple." cheeky grin.

"Get in the damn car, woman!"

"Jerk."

**The end (for real this time)**


	9. Outtake 2, part 1

LT Tuna Medwick had only one thing in mind: bed.

Bed for the next blissful 12 hours if he could manage. Making his way out of the shower he sighed heavily as he had no other choice but to admit he wasn't that young anymore. Contrary to when he was a 25 year old buck, nowadays the times he got shaken and bumped inside his cramped flying hunk of metal and wires, the bruises lasted longer and the pains hurt just as long.

Sighing, he booted up the laptop, then changed into his sleeping clothes, t-shirt and loose boxers.

Running the terrycloth towel through his hair he mused it was nearly time to get them cut again.

Moving across the room to sit in the desk chair he twisted the top off a water bottle that had by now adjusted to the room temperature and grabbed the computer mouse.

Checking his email was his first and only order of business. Needing to let his loved ones know he was still alive took priority over everything, even sleep, so with eyes getting bleary he clicked on his mail app, where 3 unread messages were waiting for his attention.

The first two were from the usual suspects and he quickly sent a reply. With that out of the way he could feel his breathing slow as his body was preparing to go to sleep. He'd almost shut the computer down, but remembered in time there was one last message to read.

Seeing the sender was rabb_harmon_jr jag. navy. mil, his curiosity increased. The last he or anyone had heard of Harm was the email that blundering idiot Sharkbait managed to delete before reading. The fact that Harm had emailed SHARKBAIT, the biggest trap in the squadron, instead of anyone else had made Tuna wary of what had been in that message. Sharkbait had requested the message to be sent again, but nothing had arrived over the satellites yet. Maybe this piece of correspondence was the welcome explanation of his friend's baffling tactics.

Clicking on the only unread email left, Tuna had to wait for only 3 seconds for the message to open in it's entirety, nothing strange with 5000 people on board, using a single internet connection.

When it did, the arm that had brought the water bottle to his lips froze as Tuna's brain almost disconnected, his eyes bulging from shock they almost fell out of their sockets.

Only when he forgot to swallow as well and most of the water splashed down his chin on his clothes did he come back to the reality, jumping up and yelling in frustration over the wetness "Freaking hell!"

Tearing his T-shirt off and throwing it in a corner, he closed his eyes, rubbed them fiercely and, taking another breath, opened them again.

Yup, it was still there.

"Holy crap, I can not believe this."

Bolting out of his stateroom he yelled "Kitty, Slider, Shark, guys, get your sixes in gear!"

Within a minute he had almost the entire squadron crowding in his room, demanding answers what was wrong, concerned expressions on their faces.

In answer Tuna mutely pointed at the screen.

The complete silence lasted for a good minute.

"Holy shit!" finally breathed Slider, the first to break the quiet, then checked with the room's rightful occupant "Think it's fake?"

"Dunno." Tuna shrugged helplessly as he continued to stare at his computer screen. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't tear himself away.

"Skates'll be back next week, we can ask her then." reminded Bugsy, keeping a brave face.

Tuna nodded, feeling sorry for the kid. He'd guessed a couple of months ago something nobody else knew, that the kid was nursing a crush on the pretty female RIO. But, then again, EVERYBODY was nursing a crush on the tiny Lieutenant.

"Well, that Elvis in the background sure looks genuine." noted Crash.

"Well, you _should_ know him by now, you're ol' pals!" shot back Zombie, receiving the bird in return "Hey, don't blame me if you keep on tying the knot with every skirt you meet!"

"Guys!" said Tuna sternly to shut up the two men, as the oldest of the bunch he'd taken on the role of the older brother, with CAG the father. The mother run off long ago, which was nothing strange with such a crazy family...

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	10. Outtake 2, part 2

So, maybe that last part wasn't really the last one at al (this one is, though)l. You're not angry, are you? :)

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Do you mind?" asked the squadron's computer expert, Homer, as he was already taking a seat.

"Go ahead."

The photo was quickly downloaded and put back on the screen, Homer wasting no time to zoom in on the writing. Thankfully the camera used had been of high quality with plenty enough pixels to provide a detailed image. Even at the zoom level Homer chose the picture was still sharp enough so it was easy to ready the text on the document Harm was holding out.

"I can't freaking believe it. They actually got married!" whispered Tuna slowly, his voice raising with each word until he was laughing.

"You guys think there was something between them while Hammer was still part of the squadron?" was the inevitable question that arose among the squadron mates present.

"Nah, they both love their jobs too much." they all immediately dismissed this preposterous idea, not even having to give it more than a second's thought.

"Well, at least they already had the rings and didn't have to buy them..." shrugged Kitty, who until now had been silent from sheer shock, her thumb unconsciously rubbing her own band.

"And just why are you wearing yours?" demanded Jacks surprised, making Kitty blush heavily and hide her hands behind her back.

Suddenly she was the center of everyone's attention, something for which she wasn't grateful.

"I like it. It's pretty." she shrugged, rolling her eyes at the chorus of groans from the guys. They really should start appreciating the fact that they had a girly girl in their squadron, not just tomboys!

"So, what, I'm a girl!" she reminded them hotly.

Among twinkling, guilty and mischevious eyes looking back at her was Bugsy who took her in a one-armed sideways hug "We know, Kitten, and we love ya' for it!"

Whatever warm feelings the words brought out in her were quickly oblitterated when there was suddenly a fist ruffling her hair.

"Hey!" she yelled upset, batting the arm away and trying to escape the abuse. She didn't look amused at either the renewed laughter nor at the smirking RIO, even though in reality she was fighting hard to conceal the twitching of her own lips.

"Just you watch." she threatened her attacker with a pointed finger "As soon as either of us is rotated out, I'll be at your door and showing you what a feminine woman can look like that you'll be begging me to take your cherry!"

The laughter this time was even heartier and louder than before and Kitty grinned in satisfaction at the red-faced, heavily blushing Bugsy.

He glared at his mates, which just made them guffaw more, then tried to regain his dignity by crossing his arms over his chest, making sure to flex his muscles, and look down at the smug woman.

"Since I'm feeling generous I will forgive the ignorance about me not having been with a woman. But I'd advise you to be careful with making hasty promises, because one day someone will hold you to them."

"Bring it on, baby, there are a couple of things I haven't worn for too long." she crowed, already running through those items in her mind and mentally finding best matches.

Seeing he was in an inferior position of negotiation, the blond man merely sighed heavily and decided silence was least possible to get him deeper into trouble.

"Wait, where did they get a kid to wear that stupid alien costume for them?" interrupted Eagle-eye, making the rest roll their eyes at the predictability of it.

Then they as one leaned closer to the LCD screen, squinting until Homer zoomed in on that part. To their surprise they really did see some small, anorexic kid in a gray alien costume peeping from behind Harm.

"And is he... is he really making a humping motion?" asked Sharkbait slowly in disbelief.

"Sure looks like it." confirmed Tuna slowly, shaking his head "Kids these days... Absolutely no manners and respect anymoe. Had I done that at his age, my Dad would've tanned my hide with a leather belt!"

"They really did have kind of a cheesy wedding." agreed Kitten disappointed "A Las Vegas quickie, a fake Elvis and even a fake alien. I'm disappointed in them."

In the background Zombie burst out laughing, though that didn't lost long as the hatch banged open.

"What's going on here? You were supposed to be resting!" came the authoritarian voice of the CAG as he entered the room, glaring suspiciously at his men and woman.

They parted for him like the Red Sea and, still warily looking from one amused face to the next, he stepped closer to the computer as Homer zoomed out to show the entire photo.

Leaning forward Boone took a look and froze, almost choking on his own tongue.

"Please tell me it's a fake!" he demanded when he could finally breathe and think again.

Unfortunately for him no-one could save his sanity as they all shook their heads in negative.

"You all know what this means, right? Sooner or later, there will be miniature devils with the combined genes of Rabb and of Hawkes running around..."

The threat of that future made everyone forget their merriment as they could way too easily imagine the scope of destruction children with these two gene strands mixed together could wreak.

"Thank god I'll be out of the Navy by then!"

That they all agreed with, hopefully they would also either be retired or serving at some safe shore-based command.

"I'm not so sure about that, CAG!" intruded Homer's solemn voice on their relief. They all turned to him, confronted with his pensive face as he stared at the screen before him.

"Explain, Lieutenant!" demanded CAG.

"Well, sir, I just hacked into Sharkbait's email account and retrieved that email from Hammer that Shark thought he deleted. Read for yourself."

Scowling at the near-insubordinate officer the CAG moved closer and started reading from over his shoulder.

And took on a deathly shade of pale.

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